Maybe I thought coming to New York would fix my depression. Maybe I thought it would fix me.
It has done neither.
I am going so wrong trying to find something new in order to build happiness. It’s not right.
I need to figure out how to find it in myself. Not in a place school person or website.
I need to find myself.
I don’t know how I’m going to do it but I really need to.
The depression is kicking in and I’m going back to my old ways.
I’m scared.
Alone.
Terrified.
All I want is to be happy with myself.
And after four years of trying to accomplish that I still seize to have a feeling of complete happiness with myself.
So from here I don’t know where I go.
Home,
Maybe.
Stay in New York,
Possibly.
Find a new place to start an adventure,
Who knows?
The possibilities are endless, but right now all I know is I want happiness.